Holy Shit Batman!

So the title says it all.  Holy shit batman!  I'm honestly freaked the fuck out.  I'm a procrastinator by nature.  Not on all things, but when it comes to... Oh say writing out quetions that the hubs and I have for the uber-guru professional high risk baby catcher, total farking procrastinator because let's face it.  I know I've got some serious issues, and the possibility of having a baby has until this point been way too damn exciting for me to even think about problems, let alone face them and write them down. 

Today I get a card in the mail that says basically to call and confirm our appointment with the uber-guru and I think "Oh shit. That's in like two weeks."  Literally two weeks.  So in two weeks I'll have a little short, Asian-American man tinkering around in my girl bits, running tests, giving advice, and basically telling us whether I can stop looking at midget clothing and gear and start buying or whether I am going to be cursing whatever diety there is out there and being Mommy to just the minion not dos minions. 

Having made the call to confirm, I sit down on my rockin new sofa with my laptop and start compiling questions for the uber-guru.  I have 8 really good ones so far and a mini-panic attack because saying that one has issues with their girly junk and the whole pregnant thing is a WHOLE different story than getting it down on paper and thinking "Holy fuck! He's going to tell me no.  There's no way he'd tell me yes with this fucked up mess I'm working with." Panic kind of sets in when you think that the thing you and hubs want SO DAMN MUCH quite possibly will never be a reality.  Then you start crying even though you know that it's a possiblity that uber-guru will tell you that they can work around the uterus of shame, and bring a live, healthy baby into the world.  I just can't help it.  I've got all these people around me saying "Oh it'll happen! Stop worrying!" that I want to believe it, but hello hope, here's some dash to fuck up your day.  It's happened before. Medical science has matured a bit since those times, so who knows.

 SO. I'm trying to be positive, but I'm big enough to say it's really damn difficult.  I really want to have it over with and done so that I can move on one way or another.  The waiting game sucks.  The whole ordeal sucks.

And on a lighter note..... A cute picture.